MADD About Everything: When Anxiety and Depression Team Up

No, that’s not a typo. I’ve recently been diagnosed as MADD, or Mixed Anxiety and Depressive Disorder. I’m not one who likes ‘labels’, after all I have the shittiest label of all, MND. It however does explain why I feel as I do.

Mixed Anxiety and Depressive Disorder (MADD) is a common NHS-recognised condition where individuals experience symptoms of both anxiety and depression simultaneously, though neither may be severe enough to be diagnosed individually. It affects approximately 1 in 10 adults yearly and is treated through NHS talking therapies, self-referral, and GP-led medication.

The last few years have been tough. There are days where my mind feels like it’s running a marathon while my body can barely function. I overthink every conversation. I replay mistakes from five years ago. I worry about things that haven’t happened yet. At the same time, I feel emotionally exhausted, disconnected, and unmotivated. That combination feels confusing.

“How can I be anxious and numb at the same time?”

The answer is simple: anxiety and depression often work together and when they do, life can feel overwhelmingly heavy.

Some people may jokingly call it being “MADD”, mentally anxious, deeply drained. But this experience is far more than a bad mood or stress. It’s the exhausting overlap of anxiety and depression feeding off each other in a constant cycle.

Anxiety is loud and debilitating.

It keeps my mind racing with fear, worry, and “what if” scenarios. It pushes me into survival mode even when there’s no immediate danger. I recently experienced my first significant panic attack as a result of my overnight ventilation mask being incorrectly fitted. I couldn’t catch my breath and felt an impending doom that I was going to die. James sat at the bedside for more than an hour until I relaxed and felt that my breathing had stabilised. This was not me being anxious, but being paralysed with fear. A very unpleasant experience.

I was able to engage with a mental health nurse and am now medicated with propranolol to alleviate the physical symptoms of a panic attack. They are helping so far.

Depression is quieter but heavier.

It drains my energy, motivation, hope, and ability to enjoy things I once loved.

When anxiety and depression team up, they create a painful contradiction. I desperately want to fix my life while also feeling too emotionally exhausted to start. That emotional tug-of-war is tough.

Anxiety and depression are closely connected because both affect how the brain processes stress, emotions, and energy.

Long-term anxiety can eventually wear a person down emotionally. Constant worry keeps the nervous system activated, and over time that emotional overload may lead to burnout, hopelessness, and depression.

On the other side, depression can create uncertainty, guilt, and fear about the future which fuels anxiety.

It becomes a loop;

• Anxiety creates stress and exhaustion.

• Exhaustion turns into emotional numbness.

• Depression makes life feel unmanageable.

• Feeling unmanageable increases anxiety again.

And the cycle repeats.

One of the hardest parts of dealing with both anxiety and depression is that people around you may not notice. Meanwhile, internally, my mind feels chaotic and my emotional battery stays permanently low.

High-functioning anxiety and depression can make people look “fine ” while they silently struggle every day. I know there’s no overnight cure, but healing is possible when I stop treating myself like a machine that should simply “snap out of it.”

Being “MADD about everything” isn’t about being dramatic or broken. Sometimes it’s what happens when anxiety keeps my mind in overdrive while depression quietly drains my ability to cope.

It’s exhausting carrying both at once. But exhaustion does not mean defeat.

Healing rarely happens in one giant breakthrough. More often, it happens in small moments. Choosing to keep going, asking for help and getting through one difficult day at a time.

Sometimes, that’s more than enough.